"Everytime you type cool, I hear you in my head pronouncing it cool-ul followed by daydream cloud showing the patented crooked smile."
- The last person to break my heart
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Don Tripp- Letter to my son
I love this record. Don Tripp is incredible. I know it's Mother's Day tomorrow and this is probably more so a Father's Day day song but it just crossed my mind...
As it is a Mother's Day, I hope all Moms are reflecting on themselves and making sure that they are doing all that they can be to be a GREAT mom! That means including the kid's fathers not holding your kid hostage because "you're mad". As a mother, if you and your child's father didn't work out but he wants to be a father, let him be.
Being mature and having the ability to compromise is the best gift you could give your kid. But now, if you're child's father is acting more like a sperm donor, fuck him! =)
I can't speak too much on the subject because I'm not a parent. But I've seen it on both ends, fathers with evil baby mothers and mothers with sperm donor-cryin for sympathy with the "she won't let me see my kid cause I don't wanna be with her" fathers and the it's all jacked because a child is involved.
The biggest lesson I take from all of this is what NOT to do and always remembering that your child is first, period!
That's all =)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Hotel Chevalier
This to me is the definition of love, hurt, and being brave enough to try again. Incredibly beautiful =)
Monday, May 2, 2011
10 Cool/Odd facts & story about Tony Allen Sr.
No real reason for this blog. Just thinkin about my father. He's hilarious.
1. I only talk to him after midnight.
2. He watches One Life to Live FAITHFULLY! He'll be late to work just to watch it.
3. He's legally married, but has a girlfriend and they know about each other.
4. He's responsible for my disgust of BBQ.
5. He decided to grow cornrows after he turned 40+
6. He just recently learned how to text message lol
7. Including my mom, he's never actually had to approach any woman. They all approached him. He played the shy and quiet guy well, but in actuality...
8. He stutters... A LOT! Lol
9. He thinks I'm supposed to help him take care of my brothers and sisters cause I'm the oldest because...
10. He smokes those tweeds, but he calls them "cigarettes" lol
So Pops has 5 baby moms... A month ago or so, we had a debate about who is prettiest. Naturally (and not because I was on the phone with him) #1 was my mom and my list was:
1. Kay (Me and Tony's mom)
2. Tie between Tamara (my step-mom Anthony & Robbie's mom, his wife) Lana (T'ana's mom)
4. Pam aka Bulletwound (T'era's mom, his girlfriend)
5. Magnolia (Darvell's mom)
He says
1. My mom
2. Tamara
3. Pam
4. Lana
5. Magnolia
The debate is really just between Pam and Lana. I'm not a big fan of Pam period. She went after my father knowing he was married and I can't respect that period and it took a lot for me to get over that resentment for him doing that to my step-mom.
But at the end of the day, you really can't help or change the actions of people. You just have to learn to adjust and live.
At any rate, he's been through A LOT with Lana but he said Pam over Lana only because "Lana has no hips, Pam has hips and ass" verbatim. But Pam looks like she's Martin did when Tommy Hearns beat him up LOL
I'm exaggerating of course but I swear it's almost similar. Lana is actually really pretty and she did a pretty good job taking care of Tony and I during her time with my dad. I only pick Tamara with her because Tamara went above and beyond to take care of Tony and I and I have a huge respect for her.
I guess my ranking is based more on the person they are, rather than looks. Tamara and Lana were more moms to me than the others were. Well Pam could never be and Magnolia is a crackhead... Like for real, a bonafied crack head.
Pops doesn't like me calling Pam his girlfriend, bullet wound. I told him soon as he gets a divorce and cuts off his damn braids, we could talk lol. He hasn't agreed yet lol
From L to R: Me, T'ana, T'era, My dad, Tony, Anthony & Robbie (Darvell missing) circa 2010
Gotta love him =)
1. I only talk to him after midnight.
2. He watches One Life to Live FAITHFULLY! He'll be late to work just to watch it.
3. He's legally married, but has a girlfriend and they know about each other.
4. He's responsible for my disgust of BBQ.
5. He decided to grow cornrows after he turned 40+
6. He just recently learned how to text message lol
7. Including my mom, he's never actually had to approach any woman. They all approached him. He played the shy and quiet guy well, but in actuality...
8. He stutters... A LOT! Lol
9. He thinks I'm supposed to help him take care of my brothers and sisters cause I'm the oldest because...
10. He smokes those tweeds, but he calls them "cigarettes" lol
So Pops has 5 baby moms... A month ago or so, we had a debate about who is prettiest. Naturally (and not because I was on the phone with him) #1 was my mom and my list was:
1. Kay (Me and Tony's mom)
2. Tie between Tamara (my step-mom Anthony & Robbie's mom, his wife) Lana (T'ana's mom)
4. Pam aka Bulletwound (T'era's mom, his girlfriend)
5. Magnolia (Darvell's mom)
He says
1. My mom
2. Tamara
3. Pam
4. Lana
5. Magnolia
The debate is really just between Pam and Lana. I'm not a big fan of Pam period. She went after my father knowing he was married and I can't respect that period and it took a lot for me to get over that resentment for him doing that to my step-mom.
But at the end of the day, you really can't help or change the actions of people. You just have to learn to adjust and live.
At any rate, he's been through A LOT with Lana but he said Pam over Lana only because "Lana has no hips, Pam has hips and ass" verbatim. But Pam looks like she's Martin did when Tommy Hearns beat him up LOL
I'm exaggerating of course but I swear it's almost similar. Lana is actually really pretty and she did a pretty good job taking care of Tony and I during her time with my dad. I only pick Tamara with her because Tamara went above and beyond to take care of Tony and I and I have a huge respect for her.
I guess my ranking is based more on the person they are, rather than looks. Tamara and Lana were more moms to me than the others were. Well Pam could never be and Magnolia is a crackhead... Like for real, a bonafied crack head.
Pops doesn't like me calling Pam his girlfriend, bullet wound. I told him soon as he gets a divorce and cuts off his damn braids, we could talk lol. He hasn't agreed yet lol
Gotta love him =)
Currently On Repeat: Edition 1
I have the tendency to get stuck on certain songs for a long time and just replay them over and over for a certain amount of time. This is the most current ones...
Still Standing- Pharoahe Monch
This record speaks to me on SO many levels! It's just what it says. Still Standing despite all adversities, you're still standing! Not to mention Pharoahe captured the energy in the music that makes you feel all sorts of powerful even after going through so much in your life... my life.
Make Yours A Happy Home- Gladys Knight & The Pips
I went to a Raphael Saadiq show 4/15 and the DJ played this record while we were waiting for him to come out. I shazaamed it and found it and been stuck ever since. My cousin reminded me that this is one of my Grandfathers favorite records along with all the other Blues he's put me on. Initially it was the music that caught my ear, not so much the lyrics. As I kept replaying it over and over all weekend, I realized there was more to it for me. I call this the love/engagement song. My best friend just proposed to his Girlfriend over the weekend and listening to this song makes me realize what they mean for each other and also what you should be in a relationship to "Make Yours A Happy Home" =)
Enjoy the Sun- Theophilus London
Simple lyrics, dope music I do just love everyone and just enjoy the sun! Life is too short to be bogged down with worries or frowns.
Sigh No More- Mumford & Sons
Right at the 1:50 mark is where I fall in love with this song!
Still Standing- Pharoahe Monch
This record speaks to me on SO many levels! It's just what it says. Still Standing despite all adversities, you're still standing! Not to mention Pharoahe captured the energy in the music that makes you feel all sorts of powerful even after going through so much in your life... my life.
Make Yours A Happy Home- Gladys Knight & The Pips
I went to a Raphael Saadiq show 4/15 and the DJ played this record while we were waiting for him to come out. I shazaamed it and found it and been stuck ever since. My cousin reminded me that this is one of my Grandfathers favorite records along with all the other Blues he's put me on. Initially it was the music that caught my ear, not so much the lyrics. As I kept replaying it over and over all weekend, I realized there was more to it for me. I call this the love/engagement song. My best friend just proposed to his Girlfriend over the weekend and listening to this song makes me realize what they mean for each other and also what you should be in a relationship to "Make Yours A Happy Home" =)
Enjoy the Sun- Theophilus London
Simple lyrics, dope music I do just love everyone and just enjoy the sun! Life is too short to be bogged down with worries or frowns.
Sigh No More- Mumford & Sons
Right at the 1:50 mark is where I fall in love with this song!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Love or lack there of... Blah
Had a couple of short conversations on the dreaded love subject today. I don't like always talking about this because it just a broken record. Another conversation from a girl talking about love and just like my pet peeves, I hate being typical and love discussion on "when is it gonna happen for me" talk is just too typical. But it's been on my heart and mind, and I can't escape that...
So, I blog... Wanna read about it? Here it go! =)
Conversation with my cousin today:
Cousin: So what's up with your love life?
Me: umm just eh
Cousin: what's 'eh' supposed to mean?
Me: just eh.
Why is it that people, well women, get so caught up in love? Beyond our heavenly father making "love" a necessity in our hearts and minds but why is it always such a huge deal?
1 reason, most women feel the need to be loved period or validated by another person. Some just want to be taken care of financially, and some just need to wants to have someone to have their back through anything.
But why love? Why do we worry so much bout this shit? No matter what story or plan I write out for myself, love always finds it's way to jump in! It's sucks truly and if I could stay off that rollercoaster for a while I'd be a happy camper!
But it's not in my nature nor is it healthy. I'd hate everyone and be evil or something lol.
I'm sure there's a lot of other reasons why people need love... But my reason; to have someone to have my back and me have theirs... oh and love and live like Akeem & Lisa from Coming to America or Princess Tiana and The Frog Prince or even Zack & Miri minus the porno hahahaha
I will be 28 in less than a month and I can honestly say I've never TRULY been in love. "I have yet to experience what the outside world has to offer!" (I need to stop watching Coming to America lol)
Have I ever loved? Sure. I've given myself mentally & physically so much that I've been taken mentally to places I never thought I could ever come back from and it's a hard tough road to get back on and be ok.
Conversation with my coworker:
Coworker: I cant wait to see you pregnant!
Me: Hahaha I've been thinking about it but thats why its so important for me to travel and get my life right cause i want to start a family... Eventually
Me: crazy thing is, there's no one in my past who I could actually see having kids with or marrying! Like none! I feel like I lucked up! Hahaha
For majority of last year, I dated someone I truly thought I loved and when I knew it wasn't working (no matter how much I tried to ignore a lot of things that wasn't fair to me) I had to walk away. It took a lot of self evaluation, self realization and self love to know I should be treated way better than that. The most important lesson was to forgive him and know that he has his own demons to deal with.
It's a beautiful thing to realize that you love yourself no matter how much you weigh or look like or what you do in life. I'm a truly blessed person who will be the epitome of incredible lol. Not trying to be narcissistic, just expressing how I feel because I never really gave myself a chance.
Now, I just know if I keep my heart & mind open, it will come. I have a crush though. It's important for me to keep that kind of love in my heart even if it's all a facade. Even if he never knows he's the one, I'll appreciate him for forever. His passion, his ability to accept people for who they are and his general coolness I love and appreciate forever.
But love? Im confident to know that it will happen eventually. Sure just like any human being and especially being a woman- you want that in-home hair stroker (for me at least lol) snuggle buddy, that other half that loves you beyond measure and will have your back completely without question...
I'll just hug my pillow tighter until then... Or learns the drums or something =)
Until then, stay tuned...
So, I blog... Wanna read about it? Here it go! =)
Conversation with my cousin today:
Cousin: So what's up with your love life?
Me: umm just eh
Cousin: what's 'eh' supposed to mean?
Me: just eh.
Why is it that people, well women, get so caught up in love? Beyond our heavenly father making "love" a necessity in our hearts and minds but why is it always such a huge deal?
1 reason, most women feel the need to be loved period or validated by another person. Some just want to be taken care of financially, and some just need to wants to have someone to have their back through anything.
But why love? Why do we worry so much bout this shit? No matter what story or plan I write out for myself, love always finds it's way to jump in! It's sucks truly and if I could stay off that rollercoaster for a while I'd be a happy camper!
But it's not in my nature nor is it healthy. I'd hate everyone and be evil or something lol.
I'm sure there's a lot of other reasons why people need love... But my reason; to have someone to have my back and me have theirs... oh and love and live like Akeem & Lisa from Coming to America or Princess Tiana and The Frog Prince or even Zack & Miri minus the porno hahahaha
I will be 28 in less than a month and I can honestly say I've never TRULY been in love. "I have yet to experience what the outside world has to offer!" (I need to stop watching Coming to America lol)
Have I ever loved? Sure. I've given myself mentally & physically so much that I've been taken mentally to places I never thought I could ever come back from and it's a hard tough road to get back on and be ok.
Conversation with my coworker:
Coworker: I cant wait to see you pregnant!
Me: Hahaha I've been thinking about it but thats why its so important for me to travel and get my life right cause i want to start a family... Eventually
Me: crazy thing is, there's no one in my past who I could actually see having kids with or marrying! Like none! I feel like I lucked up! Hahaha
For majority of last year, I dated someone I truly thought I loved and when I knew it wasn't working (no matter how much I tried to ignore a lot of things that wasn't fair to me) I had to walk away. It took a lot of self evaluation, self realization and self love to know I should be treated way better than that. The most important lesson was to forgive him and know that he has his own demons to deal with.
It's a beautiful thing to realize that you love yourself no matter how much you weigh or look like or what you do in life. I'm a truly blessed person who will be the epitome of incredible lol. Not trying to be narcissistic, just expressing how I feel because I never really gave myself a chance.
Now, I just know if I keep my heart & mind open, it will come. I have a crush though. It's important for me to keep that kind of love in my heart even if it's all a facade. Even if he never knows he's the one, I'll appreciate him for forever. His passion, his ability to accept people for who they are and his general coolness I love and appreciate forever.
But love? Im confident to know that it will happen eventually. Sure just like any human being and especially being a woman- you want that in-home hair stroker (for me at least lol) snuggle buddy, that other half that loves you beyond measure and will have your back completely without question...
I'll just hug my pillow tighter until then... Or learns the drums or something =)
Until then, stay tuned...
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I'm a scary freaked out bastard!
My Complete List of Fears or things that freak me out
Dogs
Slugs
Rats/Rodents/ Mice/ Hamsters/ Guinea Pigs
Being the bougie girl that gets beer sprayed on her in the Snoop "Nuthin But A G Thang Video"
Crowds/ Mosh Pits
People with underbites
People with extra small foreheads
Losing in life
Frogs
Worms
Animals that jump
Bungee Jumping
The 2 Guys 1 Horse Video
Being spit on
Ejaculation on my face (might be TMI but THAT'S SCARY)
Losing my gold earrings I wear all the time
Dirty Toilets
Parkinson's Disease
Aneurysms
Omarosa/ Wendy Williams/ Janet Reno and any other lady bruhs in power
Heels =\
Girls with chipped nail polish (vomit)
Someone putting bacon in my mouth while I'm sleep (true nightmare I had before)
losing every picture or video I've ever taken
falling in love with someone who hates kissing
Judgement Day
Cankles on men
Cankles on women
Cankles on ANYTHING
Not being able to visit other countries before I start having a family
Never truly falling in love/ dying alone
Gary Busey
Being judged
Lil B
losing my hearing
sleeping naked... what if there's a FIRE?!
becoming simple
never finding a balance between having high expectations with low reality results
Americans that use fake English accents (except Angelina Jolie, shes incredible)
Not being able to provide and take care of my brothers & sisters so they don't have to worry about anything
Dogs
Slugs
Rats/Rodents/ Mice/ Hamsters/ Guinea Pigs
Being the bougie girl that gets beer sprayed on her in the Snoop "Nuthin But A G Thang Video"
Crowds/ Mosh Pits
People with underbites
People with extra small foreheads
Losing in life
Frogs
Worms
Animals that jump
Bungee Jumping
The 2 Guys 1 Horse Video
Being spit on
Ejaculation on my face (might be TMI but THAT'S SCARY)
Losing my gold earrings I wear all the time
Dirty Toilets
Parkinson's Disease
Aneurysms
Omarosa/ Wendy Williams/ Janet Reno and any other lady bruhs in power
Heels =\
Girls with chipped nail polish (vomit)
Someone putting bacon in my mouth while I'm sleep (true nightmare I had before)
losing every picture or video I've ever taken
falling in love with someone who hates kissing
Judgement Day
Cankles on men
Cankles on women
Cankles on ANYTHING
Not being able to visit other countries before I start having a family
Never truly falling in love/ dying alone
Gary Busey
Being judged
Lil B
losing my hearing
sleeping naked... what if there's a FIRE?!
becoming simple
never finding a balance between having high expectations with low reality results
Americans that use fake English accents (except Angelina Jolie, shes incredible)
Not being able to provide and take care of my brothers & sisters so they don't have to worry about anything
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